Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Speak Up - the subject of telling each other off

One of the things I have ran into at my job is the issue of teaching children (especially girls) to speak up. When it comes to the children hurting themselves, preschool teacher´s seem to have an inherent ability to hear the child cry and instantly respond to it and inquire what´s wrong. Children cry because they are hurt and they know that if they cry someone will come and help them. That´s a part of the job of preschool teachers, to be there for the children when they get hurt and thus teach them and offer the reassurance that they are cared for, help them address negative feelings and move on.

Children are alsovocal when it comes to another child hurting them or having done them injustice. They come to the teachers again and again (it can get rather close to nagging) and tell each other off. It´s up the teachers to respond to the children and address the issue at hand, be it reprimanding ("you do not hit your friend"), explaining ("you can both share"/"she´s feeling hurt because of....") or just affirming that there is no reason for nagging ("she has the same right as you to play).
And when the situation is serious, to address it immediately and take action. Let the child know it does not deserve to be hurt or treated in that way and address the wrongful action and reprimand the wrongdoer.

Children are vocal in my experience when they know they can tell adults and that they´ll help them. While it can get extremely tiring for the adults (and it´s necessary to teach the children the difference between telling and nagging) it affirms that the children trust the adults around them. That is a very important thing for the children to learn. That they can trust the big people in their lives to help them and care for them. While having the children constantly telling each other off can be very tiring it´s important to respond to the children. It shows them, that while their reason for telling off might be silly, they are worth listening to and that adults respond to them and value their voice.

In this day where sexual abuse is becoming more and more common as well as bullying it´s important that we teach our children to speak up and be vocal about their experiences and what has happened to them. They need to know that they will be taken care of and that adults will help them and that they do not deserve to have bad things happen to them (beyond the general daily scuffing). And their opinions and voices are important and matter.

I admit I can get extremely tired of the constant nagging and constant reprimanding/redirection/explaining and what not. But if that means that I am teaching the children that adults will listen and that their voices matter and  that they should speak up, my annoyance is a small price to pay.

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